A weekend straddling the horse.

Friday:

I mostly stuck to my usual, including a piece of frittata, a salad with chicken, and an orange. I wanted to have a nice, easy, take-out dinner with my boyfriend. I swore I wouldn't eat more salad, but what did I order, totally of my own accord? Salad! It was actually a delicious spicy beef (!) salad with cilantro, apple, and veggies. Thai salad is pretty good. As a bonus, I got a small tuna/avocado roll, which had white rice, but just a little.

Saturday:

I went out with friends to do an early errand and due to circumstances outside of our control, we were thwarted. To not waste the morning, we decided to go have a treat. I had a latte (!) and an oatmeal/dried cherry/pecan cookie. It was probably my best bet for less sugar and less flour and it was pretty good. For lunch, I had Indian food, with included rice, though supposedly white basmati is okay. I don't really believe that for a second. For dinner I made a turkey meatloaf and ate some sauteed greens while I watched my boyfriend eat tasty potatoes.

Sunday:

Boy, I really fell off the wagon. I started the day with a lunch of lemon rice soup and meatloaf (both legit!), and then ate a half of a mango as a snack. So far so good, right? Well, I ate a bunch of those gross low gi cookies and then went to my friend's place to babysit. There I ate salad and PASTA (holy shit, I haven't had pasta in more than a month!) and to top it all off: GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Fuck, frozen thin mints are awesome. I tried to keep my pasta portion under control, but my weakness really came out with those cookies. When I got home I was hungry (yes, the hunger is back, because I've been eating carbs) and I ate a piece of semi-legit pizza that I made last week.

Irish Breakfast!!

1 egg, over easy; 2 sausages; 1 piece of ham; a tiny bit of smoked salmon, on a piece of party rye (1g of sugar, pretty whole grain = LEGAL!); 2 pieces of irish cheddar; 2 roasted tomato halves, some mushrooms; some blueberries. ALL GOOD!

My only splurge was two small soda bread biscuits with some butter (okay), a spoonful of nutella, and a spoonful of jam. Pretty good portion control on the sweet stuff, but I still probably consumed a boatload of sugar. I was concerned that the soda bread was off limits, but, like a crazy person, I looked up the nutritionals for Bob's Red Mill mix, and as it turns out, they are pretty whole grain and have only 3g of sugar. In other words: LEGAL!!!

For lunch I had a salad with chicken and for dinner, another salad, also with chicken, and a manhattan. I also ate some weird (not good) low gi cookies, made with peanut butter, agave, and cocoa. Even the few chocolate chips I put in there didn't make them any better. They were so weird and puffy!

The next few days.

Monday:
--scrambled egg (1)
--chinese chicken (it's back!)
--roasted chicken, a small piece of sweet potato (definitely 1/2 c or less), salad with lettuce, tomato

Tuesday:
I was in a lot of tooth pain and all I wanted was a pastry and some tea. Is saying, "but I only ate half" the equivalent of saying I didn't inhale?

--scrambled egg (1)
--small piece of sweet potato; a piece of brie
--small serving of soba (buckwheat noodles), chicken, kimchi dumplings, a few carrots (not a totally legit meal, but not totally a bust due to portion control/restraint)
--peach/cardamom tart; tea (I needed it)
--whole grain pizza (probably more than I should have); lemon-rice soup (with brown rice!)
--the remainder of the tofu pudding (which was not very much)

Wednesday:
--piece of frittata
--lunch out: sausage, peppers, onions, mushrooms, one slice of potato. Note: I did not eat the amazing, always warm, delicious bread from club lucky.
--whole grain pizza (probably more than I should have); salad

Not sure how good I've been this week, but I'm still about 5 pounds down, so I'll take it. Also, I think it's okay to eat some forbidden foods, within reason. I feel like my awareness of carb portion is really good so I haven't been terribly overeating. (And, the less I eat carbs, the better I am at not overdoing it when I do.) I also feel like my blood sugar is really under control; no starving, no crashing; no real desire to snack; no panic from being hungry.

Day 18, 19, 20.

I might really be back on the wagon:

Friday:
--smoothie (berries, yogurt, milk)
--chicken, kabocha squash puree (about a cup, maybe a little more)
--chicken, spoonful of peanut butter, yogurt

Saturday:
--2 eggs with brie
--spoonful of peanut butter
--smoothie with mango and yogurt
--salad with lettuce, tomato, chicken; some kale with tomato sauce
--tofu pudding (it's back! but this time I sweetened it with apple sauce and just a tiny amount of agave. it's not very sweet.)

Sunday:
--scrambled eggs; cauliflower puree
--orange
--brie
--soup (tomatoes, chickpeas, veg, etc); salad (carrots, broccoli, almonds); quite a few deviled eggs (made with yogurt, a little mayo, mustard), some apple crisp (it had a little maple syrup and I picked off the crumble topping that contained flour and sugar.)
--tofu pudding

I found the apple crisp super sweet, even though it probably wasn't. Is this what happens when you stop eating sugar? The tofu stuff is pretty bitter, but I still like it!

Day 17.

I went to an amazing dinner/cooking class with a friend who is a chef. I threw my diet out the window in order to partake in the deliciousness.

--smoothie: yogurt, berries
--one orange
--dal with greens
--dinner: allowed: roasted chicken, bacon wrapped onions, salad, cheese, salami, wine
--dinner: prohibited: champagne, bread (the fucking best), beets, potatoes (white), gelato, plum tart (that's white flour and sugar, in case you're keeping track)

So good! But still, I didn't overindulge on the white stuff. Just a little.

Days 14, 15, 16. It's all a blur.

I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday. It suuuucked. It's really hard to eat low-carb when all of your food needs to go through a blender. When you can't chew, meat is not your friend. These last days have been a blur, but I'll do my best to recap:

Monday:
--oatmeal (I think this is legit)
--a brown rice cake with peanut butter. The peanut butter had honey (and thus, was gross) but I was told not to go to the dentist on an empty stomach and I was worried/desperate.
--pureed cauliflower with roasted garlic (pretty good!)
--mamey shake with milk
--more milk (dentist recommended!)

Tuesday:
--1 scrambled egg
--smoothie with strawberries, blueberries, yogurt, milk
--half a smoothie with banana, honey, cocoa powder, protein powder
--2 poached eggs, my healthy/yogurt-y version of hollandaise sauce, pureed squash with butter
--some brie

Wednesday:
--2 poached eggs, more hollandaise
--smoothie with banana, peanut butter, cocoa, milk
--a piece of chicken, dal with greens

So, while I haven't been super bad, I've definitely had some off limits foods, including bananas, sweetener, plenty of dairy, and white rice (while sick). I checked the scale today and it wasn't good, but it wasn't too awful either. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to getting back on the sugar busters wagon!

Day 13.

--more lemon-rice soup (yes, this has white rice, but it's so good and the only thing I like when I am sick!)
--a little bit of chicken
--some grapes
--a cup of tom yum soup, left over from the other day
--2 pieces of pizza from whole foods with MULTI-GRAIN crust

Honestly, I have no idea if the multi-grain pizza crust is legit or not, but it was AMAZING! After eating nothing but chicken and brown rice for two weeks, eating this pizza was like drugs. Holy shit, it was so good.

Also, I am getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow and may be off of solid foods for a bit. Figured I needed to treat myself a little.

Day 12.

I spectacularly abandoned my diet today! But, I'm sick and had a special beer event to attend, so what else was I supposed to do? I still haven't had any real cookies, and I consider that a small miracle.

--1 small orange, 1/2 c tofu pudding
--greek lemon-rice soup! (white rice = verboten!)
--a little chicken tagine, sans carbs
--a fair amount of beer (verboten!)
--a little bit of cheese
--a few forkfuls of lentils/rice/tabouli (pretty sure it was made with white rice, so verboten, once again)

I didn't feel too bad and honestly, it was still a pretty limited amount of carbs, all things considered.

I had a pretty sour stomach going into the beer thing, so I didn't drink as much as I might have. I also kept a very slow pace (because of my stomach but also because I still felt like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag) and I miraculously managed to not get drunk.

Day 11.

I'm sick. And I'm crabby. I also didn't have a chance to pack my lunch for today so in a fit of desperation I ate some curried chickpeas I had stashed in the freezer a while back. The coconut milk had separated a bit, so the texture was a little runny and it didn't look incredibly appetizing, but it did the trick. I promised myself a decent dinner since I sacrificed at lunch. I also felt too crappy to walk anywhere to get anything,

--Irish tea with milk
--frittata (last piece of the week, don't worry)
--a small blood orange.
--chickpea curry with coconut milk. NO RICE.
--hummus (a few spoonfuls), a few celery sticks (I kind of like celery now, and I didn't really think I did before.)
--a kiwi
--tom yum soup, broccoli, a few pieces of pork belly, brown rice, lettuce

I didn't even finish all of my rice! And I could have!

I turned down some chocolate covered donuts this morning. Chocolate is always, always appealing, but fortunately a) I don't love donuts that much and b) I gave up eating those weird packaged donuts when I was a vegetarian because they are made with lard. I still don't really miss them.

I am also sick. It sucks. There is nothing I would like more than a pastry and some tea and/or a bowl of pastina with butter and milk. Carbs are my ultimate comfort food. I was raised by Italians. I can't help it.

Day 10.

--frittata (boring, but tasty)
--half of a mango
--earl grey tea with milk
--chicken tagine with 1/2 c quinoa
--pork belly/lettuce wraps! with a small quantity of white rice (gasp!), kimchi, korean pickles, and spinach. so good!
--a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter

Tonight I went to a friend's house for dinner and she made me a yummy korean delicacy. Pork belly! We ate it stuff into big pieces of red leaf lettuce, and piled in there fermented soy bean paste, sesame leaves, white rice, and various banchan, like kim chi! This is one of my favorite meals ever.

I "cheated" a bit by eating some white rice. It seemed wrong to insist on brown and it seemed even worse to skip it altogether. But, I did notice that I was aware and moderate when I was eating the rice. Before I would have just chowed down on a bowl full of it without thinking. This time I was thinking about portions and what's reasonable. I probably only ate about half a cup out of the cup and a half that was in my bowl. I was really proud of myself! In the future, when I go back to a less restrictive diet, I hope to enjoy treats like this, and savor them, without going over board.

My friend was kind enough to give me some leftover pork belly, so I plan on trying my hand at this meal again sometime in the next few days.

Day 9.

I went to hot yoga today!

I also got a weird burst of energy, for no reason. Still, no mental clarity.

--plain yogurt, half of a mango (Luxury!)
--chicken tagine leftovers, no carbs
--tofu, snow peas, brown rice
--rice cake (made of only brown rice, sea salt)
--a glass of red wine
--a few spoonfuls of tofu pudding, 5 grapes

In a moment of weakness, I had one bite of a cookie. Literally, one small bit. It was fucking amazing. Cookies taste so much better when you don't eat them everyday!

I was pretty hungry today, and it occurred to me that this is the first time I've felt that way since I started this thing. Is it because I had wine last night? Is it because I've been working out like a fiend? Was it the taste of carbs? I don't know, but I'm curious to see what happens next.

Day 9.

I went to the grocery store, so food is getting a little more interesting.

I also went out to lunch without too much trouble!

--frittata (eggs, kale, zucchini, still)
--small cup of lentil soup
--lemon rosemary chicken, hummus, salad with greens, tomato, cucumber and feta (NO PITA)
--chicken tagine with chickpeas, zucchini, green beans, tomatoes, fennel, lemon, 1/2 c. quinoa (I measured!)
--1/2 c. tofu/cocoa/peanut butter/agave pudding. It's pretty good.
--some white wine

I went to bosu interval and a crazy abs class today! It was awesome. I weighed in and really can't tell if anything is happening scale-wise. I think maybe I'll buy a digital scale this week?