day 16. i ate cooked food today!

• green shake (with banana, of course!)
• banana (huge!)
• 2 peaches
• 14 brazil nuts
• 1 orange
• 1 apple
• smoothie (1.5 bananas, peanut butter - not raw!, apple juice)
• date-coconut thing
• 1/2 wheat wrap
• some tofu fajitas!

banana count: ~4!

after feeling really terrible for much of the day, it occurred to me that i hadn't eaten more much than sugar in recent days. i decided it was time to eat a little cooked food. it was so good! and, because i kept it in moderation, i didn't even feel sick. looks like i am back on the road to my former being. for the sake of science, i'll try to weigh in today or tomorrow, to see what happens with the raw-induced weight loss.

day 15. i love bananas.

• 1 banana, slathered in almond butter
• apple
• some carrots with lemon herb dressing
• banana smoothie: frozen banana (lots!), apple juice, almond butter
• couple of pine nuts
• coconut date thing
• karyn's polenta with shitake mushrooms
• 1/2 piece of karyn's blueberry coconut cake

banana count of the day: ~3

day 14. misery.

ok, well i started out the day consuming nothing but water and juice: carrots, spinach, ginger, celery. i felt so horrible, weak and dizzy. after much debate, i broke the juice fast with a banana and some almond butter. it helped.

weight update: 112.5 llbs

i don't think i've weighed this little since elementary school. seriously. if you do the math, i have lost 4% of my body weight since i started this thing, a mere 2 weeks ago. i don't think this is necessarily a good thing. so, no more juicing for me! i will continue to be raw for the next couple of days, and then it's back to the world of cooked food for me.

day 13. my last supper.

tomorrow i start my juice fast. i have been feeling many moments of weakness these last few days, but unlike g. i have managed to stay strong. when this is all over, i will welcome gifts of take-a-hike scones from bleeding heart bakery.

• green shake
• an orange
• 2 date coconut almond things
• 4 brazil nuts
• cousin's: kale salad, curry veg. salad, grape leaves, raw chocolate cheesecake, raw truffles. all excellent.
• 1 cherry pie lara bar
• 2 handfuls of cashews, some carrot/apple juice
  

day 12. time flies...

• green shake
• zucchini, mushrooms with cashew-sundried tomato sauce
• banana/cashew/cinnamon shake
• larabar (cashew cookie flavor - so far the only one i haven't loved)
• salad: spinach, peach, tomato, sprouts, almonds, strawberries, cider vinegar
• frozen banana and mango chunks
  

my first enema. you may not want to read this.

i know many of you have been patiently waiting to hear the tale of my first enema. if you are not one of these people, stop reading now. this is going to get graphic.

i wish i had something more exciting to say about it. but honestly, it wasn't too bad and nothing notable occured, though it did take me a good hour and a half to get through it. let me break it down for you:

1. apparently the most critical part of an enema is getting the water temperature correct. i was really concerned about this and tried to get it as close to body temperature as possible, erring on the side of warmer, rather than cooler. note: each time i filled the bucket i included approximately 4 oz of the fenugreek liquid.
2. i rubbed castor oil all over my stomach to encourage the fecal matter to become less stuck to whatever it's stuck to. this is a directive from karyn, clearly.
3. next, i put 2 towels down on the floor, hung the bucket from the doorknob and practiced operating the on/off valve. i laid down on my left side, lubed up the end of plastic tubing with some castor oil and mentally prepared myself. i tried to console myself with thoughts of gay men giving themselves enemas and the fact that i am no stranger to foreign matter in my anus.
4. i inserted the plastic tubing and started the flow. honestly i barely felt anything aside from the initial sensation of water and kept my eyes glued on the bucket, watching the water level drop. i was really paranoid about putting too much in and exploding my internal organs, so initially i was very cautious. i didn't wait until i felt "full" but when i decided there was enough in there i turned off the valve, got up, and got onto the toilet to "eliminate."
   
5. the sensation of the water pouring out of my butt was disturbingly similar to my very brief bout with an intestinal/digestive issue i had a couple of months ago. though, on this occasion i had no cramping or pain, so it was surprisingly bearable. let's be honest - we've all squirted water out of our butts at one time or another and as long as there is no accompanying pain, it really isn't a big deal.
6. i got back on the floor, reinserted and started the process again. this time i was braver and totally fascinated by the volume of liquid i could hold in there! i never felt desperately full and it really was not uncomfortable. i repeated the fill-eliminate process until the bucket was empty. during this time, the water remained clear, causing me to wonder how effective it was.
7. next, i rolled onto my right side and started another bucket. i wondered no longer. this time around, the water was no longer clear. however, what started coming out of me was just liquified poop, nothing more. it was as if the fecal matter that was "on deck" in my colon came out with the water. i'm sure it would have come out normally the next time i had a bowel movement. next, i did another bucket, this time while laying flat on my back. it came out clear.
8. enemas clean so low in the digestive track, i don't feel like i removed any mucus or that i had particularly cleansed my insides. however, like the sicko that i am, i thoroughly inspected the contents of the toilet every time i eliminated to make sure nothing spectacular was coming out. as i mentioned it was really pretty tame, though the one item of interest that i noticed floating around was one of those (apparently indigestible) stickers that is usually found on produce. i guess i am kind of lazy about my food sometimes...
   
9. now, for the weird part: the "implant." i put 4 oz of liquid chlorophyll in the bucket, inserted the tube, and then instead of filling and immediately eliminating, i held the chlorophyll for 20 minutes. it wasn't as big of a deal as i thought it would be. for those of you who are spacially challenged like myself, 4 oz is a half cup, which is approximately half of a normal-sized mug. karyn mentioned that some people have a hard time holding the chlorophyll, but i'm not sure what she meant by that, as i'm not sure what would be problematic about it. when my 20 minutes were up, i let it out and i was done!
   
10. all in all, i noticed little effect from the experience. my first two bowel movements the next day were a little weird, but other than that i felt normal. oh yeah - it should be noted that the chlorophyll turned my shit bright green. it kind of reminded me when i ate the green bagel on st. patrick's day and became horribly sick as a result. but that's another story. if anyone has any questions, just post a comment. i'd be happy to share.
    

i need some fucking advil.

i've had a headache for a week straight now. the pain varies, ranging from mildly annoying to "am i getting a migraine?" in intensity. karyn would say it's a detox symptom. i say it sucks. i am trying to be strong and work through it, as i'm sure that any type of headache reducing drug is not detox appropriate. i spent most of the afternoon napping, it felt better for a minute, and now it's back again. the weird thing is that after i gave myself an enema wednesday night, it subsided. this may have been an isolated incident, so i'm not willing to pronouce enemas some kind of miraculous cure-all just yet. i never thought i'd say this, but i need more, uh, data.

the moral of the story is: if i'm a total bitch lately, cut me some slack.

day 11. and you thought i wasn't eating enough.

for what it's worth, i was downright ravenous today, compared to recent days. my hunger and/or desire to eat is really inconsistent. also interesting is that all i really want is fruit and not much else. occassionally between fruit munching an overwhelming desire for fat overcomes me and i look for the most calorically dense, rich food i can find. i've been hitting the almond butter pretty hard. it's only day 11 and i've already eaten half of the jar.

• green shake
• 2 small oranges
• larabar - cherry pie
• e3 algae stuff (1 oz) - i finally drank it and it tastes as gross as it sounds.
• green kamut
• zucchini w/ cashew & sundried tomato sauce. i actually really like this.
  
• salad - lettuce, tomato, avocado, sunflower seeds, apple cider vinegar, flax oil
  
• smoothie - banana, almond butter (lots!), apple juice
• a few brazil nuts
• some strawberries
• almond butter, neat.
  

cease and desist.

due to overwhelming response by my loyal readers i will be no longer consuming hydrogen peroxide.

apparently the shit can kill you at worst and fuck up your insides at best. i have some concern about the affects of this stuff and i can no longer handle the emotional anguish it is causing.

thank you all again for your concern. i'm lucky to have a such a dedicated street team. you know who you are.

day 10. i really don't care for energy soup.

i was really bad and skipped the vegetable juice, algae and clay/psyllium i was supposed to drink last night. in my defense, i really didn't feel well and just couldn't bear the thought of putting anything else into my body. but i'm back on the wagon and i'll make up for it today, i promise!

• green shake (16 oz)
• green kamut (32 oz with peroxide)
• energy soup (80z) this tastes not so good...
• small apple
• (1.5 - 2 c.) corn/tomato/pepper salad
• smoothie (8oz -- bananas/mango/some blended cashew)
• larabar - cherry pie - thanks g.!
• 7 brazil nuts
• (1/2 c) raw zucchini with blended cashews and sundried tomatoes - a test run

i feel extremely emotional today.

karyn warned that this is a very common part of detox, but i didn't believe her. i just want to go home, get back into bed and cry. i have no idea why. i feel horribly depressed, irrational and completely unstable. it is uncanny.

day 9 - i am drinking hydrogen perxoide!

g. and i went to karyn's for a raw feast! and now i am very very full and my stomach kind of hurts. i think i am going to try to eat at home for the rest of this week. i seem to be better off that way.

• green drink
• green kamut - this time with hydrogen peroxide!
• 2 c. corn/tomato/pepper salad with sunflower sprouts
• some cashews, a handful of sundried tomatoes, a couple of strawberries
• handulf of raspberries
• energy soup (8 oz)
• some of that beet stuff (2 T) and 1/2 wheatberry cracker -- note: i used to like both of these things, but now i am totally sick of them. all i can taste is bragg's when i eat them.
• 1/2 piece raw deep dish pizza from karyn's
• 1/2 pecan carob cake from karyn's

an important bulletin.

i have already pooped 4 times today and it is only 3pm. AMAZING!
my stomach is so flat it rivals kayrn's. maybe i was storing more in there than i thought!

day 8 - the big day.

i think many of you know what the title of this post refers to. more about that later.

• apple, 4 brazil nuts
• larabar (chocolate coconut)
• sweet potato ravioli, corn salsa, salad, 1/2 avocado, strip of bell pepper filled with sunflower seed pate, zucchini pasta (from karyn's)
• raw broccoli (1.5 - 2 c.), 2 T lemon dressing
• an orange
• 2 kiwis
• 1/2 c. corn/tomato salad, a couple of cashews
  
• small piece of sprouted bread, 1 T almond butter
  

day 7.

• green drink
• 1 apple (granny smith)
• some almond pate, 1 wheatberry cracker (man, i'm addicted to those!)
• larabar (ginger snap)
• an orange
• beet seed weirdness from karyn's, 1 wheatberry cracker, handful of broccoli
• mint/carob/pecan cake from karyn's
  

detox symptoms?

normally i would describe my skin is fine, though a little sensitive and dry. on saturday, i got a compliment on my skin. on sunday, in addition to drinking my daily allowance of clay, i also used it as a mask on my skin. it actually worked great at cleaning my pores and i was pleased with knowing that i will have a use for my stockpile of bentonite after this is all over. today, my skin looks a little funky. a little red and blotchy. it could be from the sun i got yesterday, from my sunscreen (which i'm not used to) or from the clay. anyway, this could also mean that i am detoxing. all in all, it's not that signficant of a change, but i am trying to track these things, so i thought i'd let all of you fine readers know.

other than this skin thing, i have been having a few headaches on and off, but nothing too major. however, i rarely get headaches, so i assume this is also a detox symptom.

despite this, i feel great!

i'm not hungry, not tired and i have tons of energy. also, i haven't had any cupcake-induced stomachaches, which is nice too. oddly enough - though cooked food still smells amazingly good, and in theory i would love some, in actuality, i don't want any. it's an indescribable feeling. g. feels the same way.

are we being indoctrinated?

poop. you need to hear this.

in my normal, non-detoxing life, i poop somewhere between 1 and 3 times daily. this is what i consider regular or "normal." since i started eating raw food, or more importantly, taking psyllium twice a day, my frequency decreased to once a day, in the morning. i knew the psyllium would catch up to me one of these days and it did. since saturday, i have been having plentiful bowel movements, approximately 2 to 3 times a day, with today's record high topping the charts at 4! also, i've noticed an interesting texture to my shit - almost rope-like, but with many layers. imagine a rolled up newspaper that has been left out in the rain for a while - it's one entity, but you can see the parts that it is composed of. it's hard to explain. i might try to take a picture, but i'm not sure any of you want to see that...

day 6 - what's up with me and bananas today?

• green shake (remember, this has a banana in it!)
  
• 1 peach, 7 brazil nuts
• salad (greens, sprouts, cucumber, handful pecans) w/ creamy avocado dressing
• sugar snap peas, asparagus -- both soaked in lemon juice/water
  
• banana-cashew shake (1 banana, ~1/8 c. cashews)
• 3 cherries
• another banana
• almond pate, 1 wheatberry cracker, handful of raspberries
  

today's weight 114.5 lbs

sneak preview - what is to come.

i watched karyn's week 2 dvd today. it was a doozy! in addition to the green shake (16-20 0z), green kamut (32 oz), rejuvelac (12-16 oz), fenugreek, enzymes and my favorite bentonite/pysllium coctail, in week 2 we look forward to the following additions:

• double strength green kamut
• increased psyllium dose
• oxycare -- stabilized hydrogen peroxcide (added to the green kamut)
• vegetable juice (12 oz) -- greens and carrots only, no fruit
• energy soup (8 oz) -- rejuvelac, greens, sprouts, dulse, apples, avocado
• wheatgrass or e3 (minimum of 1 oz)

and the biggie...

• enemas (3 buckets full, done with fenugreek water) ONCE A DAY FOR 7 DAYS!
• "implants" -- taking a chlorophyll enema and "holding" it in for 20 minutes, after each fenugreek enema

i am terrified of giving myself an enema and even more terrified of learning my capability of "holding" liquid. when g. heard the news she immediately offered her assistance in an unmatched show of loyalty. this may be the nicest gesture anyone has ever made.

if anyone out there is learned in these matters, please get in touch. i could use the advice and moral support.

an important word about treats

those of you who know me are aware that i am obsessed with treats. usually, i prefer things of the baked and/or chocolate variety, but in a pinch, if it's sweet, i'll eat it. though i am forever trying to cut back on the sweet stuff i often celebrate dessert multiple times during the day. however, since i started this detox, i have not yet craved any kind of sugar whatsoever. apparently the fenugreek i'm taking balances blood sugar levels and cuts back on these cravings. i don't care how smelly it makes me - this is amazing!

day 5 - i kind of pigged out today.

no green shake for me today -- i didn't have time. and i kind of missed it! it really is pretty tasty. i think i am no longer worried about my caloric intake.

• 1 coconut/date/almond roll, 3/4 banana - interestingly enough halfway through the banana i was so full i just couldn't finish it. so weird!
• 1/2 order of karyn's raw ravioli's
• some almond pate, 1 wheatberry cracker
• a peach, handful grapes, 1/4 banana (leftover from this morning)
• other half of ravioli's
• 2 small pieces of sprouted bread, 2-3 T. almond butter
• a bite of another coconut date thing, but then i decided it was too sweet and tossed the rest
• rejuvelac (8 oz)
• lots of green kamut

for what it's worth - for the first time time since i started this, i noticed that i am a little gassy and a little bloated!

day 4. i have little desire to eat.

it's true. i am remarkably not hungry. however, i am scared not to eat because that can't be healthy and i don't want to throw my metabolism out of whack. really, not even cooked food sounds all that good to me. i think i'm just fed up with eating. today, i made a conscious effort to up the caloric intake. that said, this is what i'm eating:

• green foamy drink
• handful of grape tomatoes, 1/2 red bell pepper, 1/8 c sunflower seeds
• small piece of raw bread, apple, 3 T. almond butter
  
• 3 coconut/date/almond rolls
• smoothie: apple juice, peach, raspberries
• 6 brazil nuts
• salad: arugula, fiddlehead ferns, radishes, heirloom tomatoes - so amazing!
  

i think i did a better job today, but seriously, am i eating enough?

dear haters: raw cupcakes only please.

email from g.'s sister, after being harrassed about reading our blog, getting angry and being told she was lashing out:

love you bitches! address for m? going to cake love this week, thought i should send cupcakes

eats. day 3.

• 16 oz green foamy drink (this time made properly with a banana, apple juice, flax oil, lecithin and green powder) it was actually fairly tasty.
• 32 oz weird green drink (green kamut/water) taken throughout the day.
  
• 6 baby carrots, 4 raw marinated mushrooms, 2-3 oz almond pate.
  
• more carrots, more marinated mushrooms (a lot!)
• apple pie larabar
• 1/2 c. guacamole
  
• marinated broccoli, 4 or 5 brazil nuts
• 6 oz rejuvelac - i couldn't drink the 12 oz i was supposed to...
  

loss of sanity? or the benefits of raw?

the cleanse has me inexplicably giddy today. perhaps i am teetering over the edge?

even my morning (8am) trip to the grocery store to pick up bananas and juice made me extremely happy, chatting with the people in the store and grinning like an idiot. i wouldn't call it mental clarity, but more like looney, in a good way.

i smell like fenugreek.

i took 6 capsules of fenugreek yesterday. last night and today it is coming through all of my pores, out through my sweat and has even managed to contaminate my urine. i smell like a walking hippie health food store, or really pungent indian food, take your pick. instead of blindly following my cult leader's protocol, i decided to take a look at the "supplements" i am taking, 3 at a time, twice a day. turns out each capsule contains 620 mg of fenugreek. do the math. that's a lot of fucking fenugreek. no wonder why i stink! if you see me, ask to smell my armpit. you will be impressed. or maybe disgusted.

* for what it's worth, fenugreek is supposed to aid in breaking up plaque and mucus in the body. i am really phlegmy today and i can't help but imagine this might be detox related.