cooked, delicious cooked.

i fell back into cooked food with much enthusiasm. i really pigged out and immediately managed to break my own rule regarding the axis of evil: sugar, wheat and dairy. yes, i ate all 3 and it was delicious!

-banana-strawberry shake (ran out of green powder)
-frittata sandwich with couscous-veggie salad from bleeding heart bakery - amazing!
-brownie (also from bleeding heart)
-marinated tofu with stir-fried cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms and spinach
-chocolate-banana torte (bleeding heart - holy shit this was good)

thanks to j. for a wonderful lunch and for the excellent suggestion of getting a second treat to go. so very yummy! might as well fall off the wagon in style, and organic style at that.

here's how pq fared:

What a crazy week. I feel so guilty about my lack of raw updates. This past week my hunger has been all over the place, but I've felt pretty good in general. The first two days I was eating again, I definitely felt kind of uncomfortable in the belly. As I mentioned, I find the feeling of complete emptiness really intoxicating, so eating was a little bit of a letdown. As this week of raw has progressed however, everything seems to have normalized. I've been doing the shakes, lots of nuts, avocados, carrots, almond butter, a couple filter bars, etc. That raw plate the other night was way too much food. The banana carob cake the next day however was superb. The last day or so most food has been especially unappealing. I even skipped the shake yesterday since it sounded gross. Unbelievable, I know! I did have soy milk yesterday though, so the transition off the raw has officially begun. I'm still tossing around these vegan and macro ideas, but for the next week I'm just going to take things as they come. Thinking about food all the time is exhausting!

That champagne went straight to my head the other night. I narrowly escaped the urge to drunk dial...

a raw drunk?

-green shake with mango
-handful of almonds
-take-a-hike scone (not raw, but fuck yeah!)
-salad with lettuce, raw veggies (zucchini, broccoli, carrots, etc) and grilled tofu
-some raw oat-carob cake
-2 glasses of red wine

the pq and i went out for a raw feast to celebrate our reunion. i hadn't seen her in a week! following karyn's cooked (she got the raw plate, i went raw plus tofu) we decided to head to danny's. we had every intention of drinking some juice and enjoying the bar atmosphere in a raw-approved way, but it occurred to us that grape products are fermented, not cooked. this realization served as a rationalization for us to enjoy some bubbly (pq) red wine (me) as we toasted the near end of raw.

a little raw; a little cooked.

saturday was a pretty cooked day.
-green shake
-green curry tofu with rice; raw-ish spring roll
-jerk tofu; rice; homemade samosa; vegan chocolate raspberry cake
-fruit salad

i went to a birthday party and the cooked food was amazing and i could not pass it up. it was also vegan, so i didn't feel too bad. i also went to the gym. i seem to be holding steady at 113 lbs.

sunday was a mixed bag, but overall pretty raw.
-fruit salad
-some leftover green curry tofu (not much); raw snow peas
-raw mushrooms with non-raw sun-dried tomato hummus and tapenade (this was probably actually raw!)
-more fruit salad, handful of almonds
-some coconut/date/almond/hazelnut stuff

nothing new.

-green shake
-banana with almond butter
-raspberry/banana/mango smoothie
-filter bar
-raw veggies (beets, carrots, green peppers, tomatoes, sugar snap peas) and cooked hummus
-date/coconut/almond/hazelnut thing
-2/3 filter bar
-banana with peanut butter

poet of my heart.

-green shake
-small salad: spinach, grapes, almonds, snow peas, flax oil and vinegar
-a handful of veggies with (non-raw) hummus: tomatoes, carrots, sugar snap peas, beets.
-orange
-some date/coconut/almond/hazlenut concoction i made
-some more sushi, this time from whole foods (with brown rice!)

so, mostly raw. doing pretty well with this. i also went to the gym, worked out, and weighed myself. i was at 113, but that actually makes more sense to me since when i weighed myself on saturday i hadn't really eaten all day (which accounts for the very low 112). i know a pound or two doesn't seem like a lot to the general population, but remember that each pound for me represents a signficant portion of my weight since i am on the smaller side.

what else? this is going to be graphic. well, i had noticed that the quantity and quality of my shit had declined over the past couple of days. mind you, i was still doing ok, normal even, it was just less than usual for raw. i had attributed this to my high consumption of fruit and discontinuation of psyllium. when i woke up in the morning i felt a weird pressure in my belly (kind of like gas) and then proceeded to head to the bathroom for my morning rituals. i proceeded to have a huge, really satisfying movement. it was very green. (from shake?) interesting. in any event, i seem to be back on track.

oh, and you want an update from our trooper pq, the poet of my heart? well, your prayers have been answered:

I decided midday yesterday that today would be the end of the MC. Under different circumstances I know I would be interested in doing this longer. Maybe this summer, maybe just water? MC had its cool moments, but to hit a deep and more effective detox, I need to really take it to the next level. I found it difficult to be motivated when it seemed like there weren't any obvious benefits. Overall I'm satisfied though. Since the original plan was only the 28 day raw/juice thing, I'm looking at this partial MC as an added bonus. At some point this morning I will indulge in orange juice, and possibly some fruit/veggies later in the day. I have the goods to make more of the lemon drink, so I will transition with that. Oh sweet, sweet food... I will get back on the green shake and other supplement on Saturday. So raw for at least the next week, then raw/macro? What I am most looking forward to: vegetables, sustained energy, and real exercise.

Let's get together soon. I need a meal. I want to check out that second raw plate at Karyn's Cooked. I realized that getting to Blind Faith is going to be a real pain with the red line in the state that it is in... That might have to be a weekend trip or something. There are like six places I have been fantasizing about eating, so I'm determined to go to all of them one by one. I haven't seen you in forever. That makes this little poet very sad.

i'm turning into a squirrel.

-green shake
-1.5 c. mango-jicama slaw
-spinach (1 c) with 1/2 avocado and a handful of grapes, raspberry vinegar, flax oil
-apple with almond butter
-10 almonds
-smoothie: banana, raspberries, apple juice
-filter bar
-banana with peanut butter

my desire for cooked food was nil today. i mean, i want it, in the abstract, but i'm kind of at a loss. other than a very specific items (mostly just that scone) the world of cooked food seems like a distant memory. i can't even remember what i ate before on a regular basis. don't get me wrong, i'm sure the return to my former gluttonous self without too much trouble, but the transition should be interesting.


and finally, an update from pq. i was beginning to worry...

OMFG MC 7

Sunday was brutal. Keeping busy/distracted is the key. Oh yeah, and patience. I'm not feeling totally at the top of my game, but I'm still doing pretty good. There has been more than one noteworthy slip up, including herbal tea and kombucha. God help me, I actually had some sips of coffee earlier this week too. It's definitely a boredom thing, not a hunger thing. I've been coffee free since weeks before the raw even started. This is also an incredibly stressful week at work, which I know is not ideal for any sort of fasting/cleanse.

I'm still sleeping less, but I need far more rest in general, like when I come home from work. I actually feel very mentally alert, just physically tapped. If I'm remembering correctly, I did a single senna Sunday night and again last night. It's uncomfortable, but effective. I've still stayed away from the salt. That's really it. Monday and Tuesday were fine, so I suspect today will also be okay. I'm still shooting to make it through Saturday/Sunday. They say once your mouth normalizes and you feel true hunger, that is the time to stop. I'm going to the grocery store on Friday, so I'll be set when the time feels right. I'm at least going to finish out the 28 day raw plan including the shakes and supplements I have left. After that, maybe more raw, maybe macro, it's hard to say...

i don't need it, but i want it.

-green shake (i may drink these forever!)
-1/2 red pepper
-lemon-flavored larabar
-banana with almond butter
-flax crackers
-mango-jicama slaw, 1/2 avocado
-veggies (snap peas, carrots, tomatoes, beets, green pepper) with (non-raw) hummus
-some cooked spinach with tahini-lemon sauce
-crack, i mean filter bar

so i'm still pretty raw. i really needed that hummus to jazz up those vegetables and it really helped. if i have a dipping agent, i'm fine. if not, raw vegetables get old really fast for me. and in the grand scheme of things, hummus is not all that cooked. as far as the spinach goes - i've eaten a lot of raw spinach lately - i needed a change.

it should also be noted that i turned down both cake and delicious wheat products (pita) even though they were right under my nose. i'm getting good at this. i was craving a sweet after dinner (and going the the gym!) so i stopped by filter for a fix. i lucked out as their supply was back at last. it was bittersweet though - the bars continue to slide closer and closer to their (inferior) alliance counterparts.

newsflash - larabar is making all sorts of delicious new flavors including cinnamon roll and lemon. they are both amazing!

off the wagon at last.

-green shake
-couple handfuls of grapes
-asian slaw
-larabar - cinammon roll - new flavor!
-handful of almonds
-orange
-super delicious sushi - that's sort of raw, right?

i am going to keep mostly raw (70%?) this week while i am haunted by the guilt of pq wasting away on nothing but yellow kool-aid. however, i am hoping to avoid wheat, dairy and sugar. that was easy enough last night. let's see how well i do though - right now i can't even think of any foods that don't fit into one of those categories! if i do eat one or more of those things they better be in the form of either a take-a-hike scone or an artichoke-pesto pizza!

i'm so fruity.

-banana
-cantaloupe smoothie
-other half of my rawsome dinner - marinated vegetables, raw lasagna
-couple of flax crackers
-leftover raw cheesecake
-some dried apricots, handful of almonds
-banana with (not so raw) peanut butter

i was hungry but felt kind of weird in the belly. is it possible to eat too much fruit? it's probably a bit too much sugar. i need to eat more vegetables, but they really have to be well-prepared for me to be interested in eating them raw. send suggestions my way. also, i have been sadly bar-deficient in recent days. this needs to be remedied.

lemonade updates from pq.

mc day 2.

Well, I've made it to the end of day two. I'm actually feeling pretty great right at this moment. Both yesterday and today I kept really busy. I think that might be the key to MC success. Last night/this morning I was exhausted, but by about noon today I was feeling normal. So far no headaches or anything. My best guess is that I am already mostly detoxed. I did the Senna on the night of day 14 and the full 32oz of salt water the next morning. Nothing happened. I skipped the tea last night, and didn't do the salt this morning either. However, I just downed two cups of senna. I am determined to get results. If the tea is a go, I'll consider the salt in the morning.

I'm not hungry, but food sounds really good. I'm trying to stay focused on raw food fantasies though. I would like to do at least another few weeks or so on the raw. I'm not sure how long the MC will last. Ten days seems like a stretch, but so far there is no compelling reason to call it quits any sooner than that. I just foresee myself getting really bored. I'll keep you posted.

mc day 4.

Yesterday I ordered a few food books; I'm thinking macrobiotic might be the path for me. Brown rice and greens please! For now it is still just the lemon water. I did finally acquire a taste for it. I like it warm the best. I haven't been completely perfect, there have been a few cups of tea and such, but I've definitely been 99%. I did that double dose of senna the other night and it hit the spot. I haven't done the salt or the senna again.

I continue to feel pretty good, maybe just a little spacey. Also, I need far less sleep apparently. As I predicted just a day ago, I am totally bored. I'm thinking five days of this would be a great accomplishment, but I know there will be that let down once I stop. I am not looking forward to that, so for now, I soldier on.

i'm still fucking raw!

that's right! can yu believe it? it's saturday evening and i'm still going strong. i wasn't expecting to make it through the weekend (and its social pressures) without cooked food, especially since it's freezing outside and i could really go for some soup, or really anything warmer than room temperature. i am totally stoked! anyway, here's what i ate:

today:
-handful of dried apricots
-handful of almonds/cashews
-banana
-raw lasagna (yum!), salad and some marinated raw veggies - chicago diner = rawsome!
-delicious raw cheesecake - i dare say even better than cousin's!

also: even though i ate a huge (and pretty dense/heavy dinner) i feel very full but not at all gross. i am beginning to attribute bloating (and general gross stomach feelings) to wheat. when i am off wheat i really feel great. and i'm not talking about atkins bullshit here - i know i'm getting plenty of carbs from the vast quantities of fruit i am eating.

yesterday:
-green shake
-dried apricots, almonds
-leftover spinach salad
-mango/jicama slaw - so good!, 1/2 avocado
-raw brown rice salad with curry powder, carrot, beet, celery and spinach juice and pulp -- weird but good.
-dried mango, black pepper cashews

the raw rice sat like a brick in my stomach so i don't know if i would do that again...apparently you should only eat it in small quantities because it continues to expand in your stomach - probably by 2-3 times. the salad was heavy on the pulp and light on the rice, so i only consumed maybe a couple of tablespoons - but i definitely felt it.

i also went to the gym and worked out. official weigh-in: 112 lbs.
interestingly enough - this is exactly what i weighed after the same number of days of doing this last time. odd. i'm definitely eating much more this time around and i just don't look as sickly. last year i could really see the weight loss in my face and at my breast bone and this time i detect almost no visible difference. could it all be poo/water weight? i'm not as worried about it this time around because my appetite is good and i'm eating a reasonably well balanced diet and not just gorging myself on bananas. don't worry though (emily) i'm not going to let myself drop too low.

ps - for those of you wondering about pq - she is on day 3 of the master cleanse and doing great. i envy her, but we will rendezvous with the master cleanse together later in the summer when i'm through with nursing my wounds. expect an update from her soon.

in my belly.

-green shake
-2 handfuls dried fruit, 1 handful almonds
-2 c. asian raw slaw
-1 small yellow mango
-1 pear
-a tiny remainder of raw cheesecake - so good!
-spinach salad with sprouts, avocado
-a few pieces of green pepper and beets with some zucchini hummus
-a few bites of honeydew
-banana with peanut butter (not terribly raw)

i still feel good and am doing fine, but i am definitely at the point that i would rather fast than eat raw food. it's a natural progression - especially since this repetition is killing me. as i mentioned previously though, i'm sticking to the raw for now.

dual update and parting paths

it's been a long but good 2 weeks. at this point, if pq and i were following karyn's official protocol, we would begin a 3-7 day juice fast. after my disastrous experience last year, i decided at the beginning of this detox that instead of juice, i would substitute in the master cleanse instead.* however, as it turns out, my fractured bone has led me to think that i should skip the mc and choose nutrition over starvation for the sake of healing my wound. i believe in a clean colon for sure, but i also believe that the body probably needs nourishment beyond grade b maple syrup to repair itself. so, at this point i will continue to eat raw food while pq picks up the slack and continues on to the next level of deprivation: the master cleanse. don't worry - you'll still be hearing more about this than you care to.

a word from pq:
I took the senna tea last night and not one thing happened. I must have insides made of steel or something. I had one glass of the magic drink this morning and found it to be grotesquely sweet. I'm going to cut the maple syrup in half at least for the time being. I'll keep you posted on all of this madness.

*for those of you who are not familiar with the master cleanse, it is an all liquid fast consisting solely of the following 3 components:
1 - a lemonade made of water, lemon juice, maple syrup (grade b) and cayenne pepper
2 - saltwater
3 - senna tea
see my posts from the fall for more information.

pq - the last supper.

this is pq's final day of consumption. it pleases me to see her also gorging on fruit.

-ginger tea
-3 pieces papaya
-1/4c almond butter
-4 carrots
-1 apple
-1 banana
-4 kiwi
-cherry larabar
-salad (1/2c sprouts, 1/2 apple, 1/2 avocado, 1 sm tomato, red onion, vinegar)
-Young coconut (water and flesh)
-a handful or two of goji/cacoa/cashews

pq: a raw model

I can't believe it's been two weeks since all this rawness started. How amazing. I'm out of the soy and bentonite. I skipped the psyllium last night and this morning. I also had herbal tea this morning instead of the shake. The transition to MC has begun! I will probably senna tonight before bed. I'm having dental work done tomorrow, so I won't be about to have tea again until probably Saturday. I'll have to rely solely on the salt water to get the job done. Oh, I'm nervous but trying to stay positive. All of this is so mental. I'm glad we all got to get some Sultan's in last night. The social eating aspect of raw is probably nothing compared to being social on the MC.

Raw 13:
-Filter bar
-2 pieces dried papaya
-4 carrots
-3/4c guacamole
-1c carrot salad
-4 date rolls
-2 dates
-2 kiwi
-banana
-Smoothie (from Cheetah)
-1c. Jerusalem salad (from Sultan's)
-salad (from Sultan's: lettuce, tomato, carrots, beets, olives, artichoke (raw?), marinated mushrooms, lemon)
-Handful of goji berries, nibs and cashews.

more raw.

i was feeling despondent because of the cold and my general boredom with food, but between the raw slaw and the glorious gift of cheesecake from gg. things are looking up. i feel good, great even! and it's not even the cravings for cooked food that are doing me in - i'm just tired of eating the same stuff over and over. when i do some raw prep, things are better. i just need some inspiration from time to time.

-green shake
-10 almonds
-2 handfuls of grapes
-1/4 c. jerusalem salad
-filter bar
-tea - definitely not raw, but it was so cold today!
-2 handfuls of mixed dried fruit and almonds
-apple with almond butter
-another raw slaw - cabbage, cashews, bean sprouts, cilantro, carrots, sesame oil, miso, mirin
-some raw cheesecake - so delicious!

bored.

i'm kind of bored and tired of raw food. someone make me something good.

-green shake
-filter bar
-2 antiox bars from pq
-zucchini pasta with cashews, mushroom, tomatoes, and sun dried tomatoes
-1/4 c. jerusalem salad
-handful of cashews
-1 c. honeydew

pq - a woman of will.

Day 11:
2 dates
2 dates stuffed with cashews and rolled in coconut
4oz carrot juice (flash pasteurized/cold pressed)
1/2c coconut water (yes!)
5 carrots
1/2c guacamole
1/2c sprouts
1/2c carrot salad (with coconut)
5 green olives
handful of cashews
2 antiox bars (nut bars made with goji berries and cacao nibs)

Day 12:
banana
2 pieces dried papaya (rawish)
1c carrot salad
3 carrots
4 date rolls
coco larabar
Spinach salad (sprouts, red onion, apple, avocado, apple cider vinegar)
3 goji squares
quite a few cashews
2 glasses cranberry juice with lime (yes, not raw)

a word about our bars.

something is going on with our bars. our amazing FILTER bars. they are different from the original formula - much firmer, seedier...they aren't quite as smooth and soft. the first one i ever had was very velvety and homogenous in texture with the occasional sunflower or flax seed thrown in. now they are becoming more like the (fake) alliance bars!!! i can detect honey and the presence of many more seeds. where did the sesame come from. did i see some millet in there? these two bars are definitely related and the maker is getting lazy, ever so slowly trying to merge the two bars into one. something must be done.

i was so happy to have them back i pretended not to notice at first, but i cannot ignore the truth any longer. am i crazy, or has any one else noticed this too?

i need more information about these bars. please help!

rainy days and mondays...

actually, unlike karen carpenter, i'm not down, i'm great.

-green shake - it came out extra good today!
-spinach salad with lots of ground flax, a tomato, 1/2 avocado, olive oil, cider vinegar
-banana with almond butter
-almonds
-carrots with raw hummus
-salad
-amazing raw cacoa/goji bar from pq!

and then i fell off the wagon for passover...i went to a seder and i just couldn't help myself. here's what i ate from the world of cooked food (and it was all delicious):
-corn
-potatoes
-matzoh ball soup
-1 glass of red wine
-a macaroon
-small piece of flourless chocolate cake
-the motherload - RAINBOW COOKIES! for those of you who don't know, i've been looking for these in chicago for at least 6 months now. amazing and totally worth breaking the raw for!

i'm back on the wagon as of tomorrow, i promise!

raw on! from pq.

I love raw. Today was the first day during all of this that I have felt truly awesome. I did a bunch more food prep and scored my third young coconut. I made some date coconut rolls per your suggestion, and also made new and improved guacamole and carrot salad (this one with coconut). I also made some rockin' nut bar type things with cacao bits and goji berries. Awesome! I also shit 4 times before 5:00. That's crazy. I'm thinking this is the new psyllium?

Day 10:
-2 Filter bars
-1c carrot salad
-plum
-2T almond butter
-3 carrots
-4 carrots
-1/2 avocado
-handful of cashews
-spinach salad with sprouts
-1/4c coconut cream
-1/2c berries

Raw on!

lots of food.

i pigged out again. and yes, i was grazing. i couldn't help it!

-green shake
-spinach, 1 carrot and 3/4 c. zucchini hummus
-a million coconut-date rolls - seriously i could not stop putting these into my mouth
-1 c honeydew
-spinach salad with 1 tomato, 1 avocado, ground flax, apple cider vinegar and olive oil
-handful of cashews
-filter bar - i cannot believe i ate this after pigging out all day!